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CMPA Update (Issue 10)

By on July 3, 2003

Revised Mobile Plant Operators Daily Safety Checklist

A reformatted version of the CMPA’s Mobile plant operator’s daily safety checklist will be available from the start of May.   The new books will have easy access to the Safety Maintenance, Environment and Material Concern forms at the rear of the book.  All pages will include carbon copies and will be sequentially numbered to ensure no repetition in numbers between books.  The new checklist also aims at minimising movement on and around the machinery prior to start-up by providing a realistic sequence in the checks.  For further information or to place orders contact the CMPA. 

The CMPA is currently developing a fixed plant daily checklist.

CMPA ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING 2003

All Members are invited to attend the 2003 CMPA Annual General Meeting.   The event takes place on Saturday the 16 August  at William Adams in Laverton.

Last years dinner was a huge success and this year is set to be even better.  This year, meeting formalities will be completed prior to commencement of the dinner.

Formalities are expected to take no longer than an hour and interested members are requested to arrive prior to commencement of the annual dinner.  Advance bookings are welcome as places are limited. 

For more information or to reserve a seat contact the CMPA on (03) 9745 2132. 

All Potential Members welcome! 

WHO:Registered CMPA Associates, Voting members and their invited guests/partners.

WHAT:CMPA Annual General Meeting—2003

WHEN: Saturday 16th August 2003, 6.00pm-10.30pm (exact times TBA)

WHERE: William Adams, Corner of Spencer St and Boundary Rd, Laverton.

Brain Teasers:

1. I have two identical tanks of water being drained at the same time.  Tank one has one—two centimetre (radius) circular drain outlet and the other has two—one centimetre (radius) circular drain outlets.  Which one of the tanks will empty first? 

2. There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls.  What is it?

Solutions at the bottom of the page

INTERLUDE

How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
  3. Insist that your e-mail address is either: xena-warrior-princess@companyname.com or elvis-the-king@companyname.com
  4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
  6. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it “IN.”
  7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  9. In the memo field of all your cheques, write ‘for sexual favours.’
  10. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
  11. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
  12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
  13. dont use any punctuation
  14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
  16. Specify that your drive-through order is “to eat here”.
  17. Sing along at the opera.
  18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
  19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
  20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in Stall 3.”
  21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
  22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
  23. Call 000 and ask if 000 is for emergencies.
  24. Call the psychic hotline and don’t say anything.
  25. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
  26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I Won!” “Third time this week!!!”
  27. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
  28. Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bother me, it’s the voices in your head that do.”
  29. Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
  30. Every time you see a broom, yell “Honey, your mother is here!”

Provided courtesy of Web Wombat www.webwombat.com

Brain teaser solution

Answer 1. The tank with the one—two centimetre outlet actually has twice the cross-sectional area as the two smaller outlets combined and will therefore empty first.

Tank 1: Area    = πr2
                      = (22/7) x 22
                           = 25.14cm2

Tank 2: Area    = πr2 x 2 drains
                                 = (22/7)x 1 x 2
                           = 12.57cm2

Answer 2.: Windows

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